Christmas Catch-Up

This Christmas season hasn't been much unlike other years where I was too busy to post, except that in years past I was able to sit down and post a little tidbit from my private blog, hopefully providing a chuckle at my knucklehead musings.

This year Christmas took me a bit unawares as I have been super preoccupied helping at the high school.  Since my son designed the set for the annual musical Hairspray, I felt compelled to help build it as the ice storm put them behind.  Not to mention the two weekends it took to cut down two beautiful trees we lost in the ice storm. Combine that with Christmas and also my son's college applications and the ever important scholarship deadlines looming and this cluster-whammy put me a tad behind. But I'm back.

Shameful I know, I haven't posted since the 19th of December. But I expect my readers to understand. From that day forward, my Christmas holiday turns into a hellish nightmare of get-to-gethers with the same faces over, and over, and over, and over again.  I'll explain.

On the 21st is my father-in-law's birthday, after which I am usually preoccupied with baking and shopping for Christmas over the next 3 days. Oh and don't let me forget the wrapping!  It took me an hour to wrap my White Elephant clock disguised as a vacuum.  The vase made to look like a doll took even longer.  But hey, it provided for a lot of laughs on my unsuspecting brother-in-law who thought he would be opening up a sweeper for his new house. 

After everything is cleaned, cooked, bought and wrapped, then the traveling show begins. Christmas Eve at the in-laws once more. Christmas morning breakfast at my sister-in-law's house, Christmas dinner back at my house hosting 20+ people. Two days later is my sister-in-law's birthday, then I get a short break before New Year's Eve is upon us and we get together once more.  Yup, I was stupid enough to open my mouth and suggest a New Year's Day brunch at my house.

With all this yuletide you can imagine that along about now I am sick to death of looking at the same freaking faces and I desperately need a respite from all of it, so tossing together another blog post or two becomes very appealing.

So here goes my contribution to the blogosphere jumble of words that float through e-space with the intent and hope of meaning something to someone somewhere.

As I sit here all cozy with my Bichon Frise girls on the Christmas sofa, yup we are practical gifters, I will give you a twofer.  First, a little poem I came up with while I was giddy from lack of sleep. The next post will be normal, well about as normal as I can muster anyway.  Here goes:


Twas a week before Christmas and all though my home, I cooked like a wild woman, baked cookies and scones. All the stockings were stuffed with goodies to spare, in hopes I would have time to shop for a few things with care.

Our sons were out spending on Chiloso and games, while visions of an endless money tree were screaming their names. Me in my jamjams while hubs was asleep in his chair,... was furiously working to clean the house and make it look like she cared.

When a realization came that I forgot to buy gifts, I donned my winter coat hoping it would hide my sweats with rips. Away to the store we flew like white trash, we forgot the damn ham for our 22 person Christmas bash.

The moon cast a glow on that black Volvo dash, as we circled the lot and I counted my cash. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the realization that we had no lights on the house front or the rear.

That tall grey-haired driver was so lively and quick, I knew in a moment this was no manual with stick. More rapid than rabid dogs did I hop out of the car, to make it into Target seeking lights near and far.

Where's GE or a helpful sales woman or man? Hells I'll even take that cheap-ass Targety brand. To the cashier to the checkout, to use my Red Card. We dashed away, with white Target bags in hand to the car.

As a madman, he floored it so we could get this crap home, to put up some lights and sit down to that scone. Up 1378 that Volvo did fly, so momma and papa could help light up the night sky.

With a twinkling the house was ready to suck kilowatt hours, like the other homes on the street but unfortunately this bill was ours. As I stepped in the house and was hit with that terrible smell, the cookies I left in the oven were burned to hell.

The cookies were tarnished with soot and ash, I knew in a moment that they must hit the trash. Oh the house was all decorated and lit like a mutha, but I forgot to buy the presents that we would give to each other.

The foot of the tree was all empty and bare, I realized I forgot to buy anything for my lair. I went straight to work using my artsy fartsy flair, I quickly pulled together some homemade gifts that Martha Stewart wouldn't dare.

The tree was barely filled, I felt so freaking lame, for Christmas was upon us and regifting would be the name of the game. With a White Elephant game I hoped I could make it through, as long as I didn't get stuck with something like fake dog poo.

By the end of the party, everyone left for their hood. Not a word was spoke about how we missed dusting the wood. Not a comment was made about the messy bathrooms too, for the family only cared about White Elephant and food.

Happy the mayhem was over, and I finished my family duty. I could now sit on the sofa and sip something fruity. Merry Christmas to all, the resounding Facebook status tonight. No sooner did I sit, I was out like a light.


I hope my readers had a truly fabulous Christmas and will enjoy a prosperous New Year!