The Best of Me

I write this as I get ready to attend yet another thespian initiation and award ceremony at my son's high school.  He tells me he will be earning some more star awards.  He earns 1 for every 100 hours he has volunteered after school and I suspect he is nearing 1000 hours, having earned his letter jacket last year at 500  hours.

I have been pondering lately the fact that my youngest son will be graduating high school this year and may be headed off somewhere to college.  I am struggling with the fact that there is such a finality to it all.  He won't be here for me to chat with.  He won't be here for me to worry about when he drives home late at night.  Instead of worrying about him when he is behind the wheel, I will be worrying about him all the time.  I cannot reconcile myself to any of this.

When my sons were born, I never had to contemplate their leaving.  Those days were so far away that it seemed like an eternity before I had to get around to thinking about it.  Now it is an eventuality; my sons will leave and I will have to forge a new identity somehow. It is profoundly saddening. 

I still have many months left to enjoy my son's fantastic high school experience.  He has worked so hard toward the culmination of numerous awards last year.  During the summer he spent his time off designing the set for Hairspray the Musical which will be held early 2014, even calling his teachers and setting up a couple lunch meetings with them to show them his designs.  I thank God he has the best teachers in the world, who have nurtured the champion in my son.  I am amazed at what an incredibly talented man he is. 

Over the summer my son even built a miniature set which he presented to the Booster Club parents and other Thespian students.  And he was rewarded in whirlwind moments interviewing for scholarships at the Texas Thespian Convention last month, where he interviewed with about 30 universities from across the country for their Technical Theater BFA programs and received callbacks from 21 of them.  I still have a lump in my throat at the affirmation that so many others see what I see in him. He is a truly amazing individual, and that's not just the mom talking.

I know all of his achievements will not stop just because he goes away to college somewhere.  I know he will have many more honors.  It's just that mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and brother won't be 2 miles down the road to be able to attend all of his activities and cheer him on 

Perhaps that is part of growing up; having to find a new set cheerleaders which spur you on to further greatness.  As a parent, all you can do is pour the best of you into your children and hope they take that and run with it.