Just in case you missed it, Mitt Romney is putting his hat in the ring, yet again, for the presidency. yippie ki yay.
Notice how I didn't even capitalize the previous sentence because I can hardly contain the boundaries of my excitement about this announcement while shuddering at the thought of those binders of women making yet another nonsensical round. Indeed, three time loser Romney is going to bestow his presence upon us yet one more excruciating time.
In addition to that uber-exciting news that I'm convinced made the hair on the back of your neck stand at attention, Mike Huckabee is making the nightly news rounds with similar such grandios proclamations. Add a screeching What Difference Does it Make Hillary Clinton to the dowdy mix and well, 2008 called and they want their fricking candidates back.
Oh can we? Please? Can we toss them back? I sure as hell don't want them, do you? What's next in this carousel from hell? Will Rick Santorum hope for another 15 seconds of fame?
Are we out of our ever loving minds? Have we learned absolutely nothing over the last 7 miserable progressive-stained years? We may as well resurrect Richard Nixon from the dead and run his ass for 2016.
The fun and games do not end there however. We also have the Bobsey Twins from Florida, Jeb Bush and Marco Polo Rubio flouncing around town in hopes that somehow the Republicans will not be stupid enough to support a geriatric 2008 repeat. Yes, Frick and Frack hope to outdo each other as they are somehow under the impression their presence would miraculously offer GOP voters some sort of viable alternative to the yawnsters.
In all of these ridiculously tempting options, it begs to be asked, where is our Reagan? If Republicans want to beat the screechy pants off of Hillary, and I don't mean that literally, yikes, they had better find our Reagan, and be snappy about it.
How many times must we repeat the mantra: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, is the definition of insanity? These old farts need to give it up already. Go the feck away; they had their time in the sun and failed Republicans miserably.
My ideal primary challenge? Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, Rand Paul, and Ted Cruz. Why? Because Paul and Cruz will give the hazing whacks so deserved to befuddling, fat-brat Bush, they will run Latino flamenco circles around Rubio, and they will leave us with two viable candidates that only need prove to us which is more Reagenesque. And if it ultimately came down to these two I would have to go with Cruz on this one.
Published January 10, 2015