Saturday, March 14, 2015

Mortality

My parents on a cruise to Hawaii for their 50th wedding anniversary
 I was reminded of our mortality this morning as I just finished making a pot of coffee and sitting down to read my emails.  It was awfully early for the phone to ring so I tossed the tablet aside and ran to it only to find my dad on the other end of the line.  There was no background noise.  There was no usual speaker phone. It was just my dad and he sounded strained and tired.  "Honey bunch, I took your mom to the hospital last night."  My heart sank.

We're not yet certain what has happened exactly.  The doctor's believe she had a mild heart attack but won't know more until they do an exploratory on her. I suppose I can take some refuge in the fact they have not scheduled it until Monday as a sign that her condition is not life-threatening.  Though they did confirm it was her heart and not some sort of phantom ailment.

The instant of that news coupled with the fact I turned 50 years old barely 5 minutes ago reminded of how short of a time span we all have on this earth. It seems like yesterday that I got in trouble for dropping the shoe box full of crayons flowing with chips and paper bits all over my mom's freshly vacuumed floor.  It seems like yesterday they were meeting my husband for the first time and we were laughing and exhilarated as we took a horse and buggy ride around downtown Dallas.

Horse and buggy ride Fall 1992, Dallas
When I saw my parents last summer and was stunned at how dramatically they aged in the last year. I was agog. In the last week I had been lamenting that more than half my life was over and the hyper-awareness of it sort of scared me. Then to receive this call when my nerves were already raw nearly did me in.

While I wait for her test results and chat with my brother to determine who is going and when, I have gathered my sons near me.  I fear for the day they have to deal with the reality of my mortality.  Lets face it, it will be upon every one of us sooner or later.  During this time that I wait for more news, I reflect upon how quickly life goes by.

My dad with his dog after he got back from the Korean War.

My mom's high school graduation photo