The Squares Square Off

It's that time again.  Tomorrow night, rather than sit in the comfort of my arsty fartsy living room with an adult bevy in hand, I will be sitting in the Library taking notes at the Wylie City Council Candidate Forum being sponsored by our illustrious Wylie News, and mediated by those stodgy old ladies known as the League of Womens Voters or some such name.  Doesnt that name just conjure up ideas of some group of old men in suspenders milling about a smoke filled room puffing away on stale stogies?  Now imagine a group of women in support pantyhose and pillbox hats cackling like a bunch of hens.  Yeah, you got the right picture now.

Always a pleasure to watch, but not as pleasurable as being in my jammies and under the fuzzy blankie at home reading, I find solace in the fact that there will only be four members there and the stage will not have to be shared with the ISD Trustee candidates this year.  Hopefully the questions will not drone on and I can get home quickly enough to spend some quality time with that blankie before bed.

I dont know why I feel compelled to attend, really.  I mean its going to be the same old stale message that we keep hearing pour out of the candidates faces.  We have the Two stooges, MoMo and Jose and,  wait for it,  wait for it,  drumroll please…………………..
Bennie and the Jet, or should I say jet black, as in hair.  Yes I
m on a roll tonight. 

If you show up to hear them speak, you may as well read their websites and skip the first 10 minutes because it will be a mere regurgitation of their campaign slogans just long enough to fill their 2 minutes or however long the cacklers allow them to have.  Then we can get in to the meat of things and see how they answerer those questions the attendees bring.  Let me tell you, they come up with some real doozies too:  How long does it take you to brush your teeth?  What came first, the chicken or the egg?  Did you ever smoke a doobie but not inhale?  Yup, some real brain teasers.  OK, all kidding aside, it will be interesting to see if my predictions hold true.

In the beginning there is the word and the word is Bennie who is the rectangular peg that fits in the rectangular hole.  Yup, Bennie Jones has the benefit of campaigning and also actual council experience and I suspect when he is asked a question MoMo and Jose will simply nod with that dumb look on their faces and say, Yeah, what he said.  Catherine will be nervous and probably talk too much and I bet she routinely goes over her time limit.  You know how a woman can yak on indefinitely until she goes hoarse.  Catherine Butschek is the round peg that fits into the round hole.  Gilbert will be his usual pocket protector, smiley, goofy guy and hell try hard not to cuss like a sailor but probably babble on like a woman.  Gilbert Tamez is the triangular peg that fits into the triangular hole. Nathan will act his usual used car salesman all slick and slimey but I wonder if he leaves the greasy pomade at home?  Additionally, he will use the word 'mindful' so many times I will want to puke.  Nathan Scott is the square peg who will attempt to slam himself into any hole and then turn himself sideways and slam himself down into the square hole just for pretend. As if.  Well get a bunch of politically correct answers and nobody will be none the wiser.

Yup, you heard it here first, tomorrow night will be squaresville and Ill be the one yawning and wishing I had a blankie to hug.