Newbie Screw

I had hoped I could move on to bigger and more important political scenes than rinky-dink Wylie, Texas politics, however the activities of tonight are about to provide me with months, if not years of solid entertainment.  Tonight's antics are truly the stuff rip roaring gigglesnorts are made of.

After a yawn-worthy hour and a half horse and pony show that is a staple in what is the chamber three ring circus, council finally got around to the Mayor Pro Tem selection bit. Lord have mercy I thought they would never get to it.  I mean I like fun as much as the next guy don't get me wrong,  but even I don't want to do anything for an hour and a half without it culminating in a little something something for me if you know what I mean.  So you can imagine how incredibly painful it was to sit there that long as Mayor listened to himself talk. 

At one point I saw the newly instilled Councilman Wintters look at me so I quickly winked at Councilman Jones who wasn't even looking at me at that moment, and when I glanced back at Wintters he was looking over at Jones to see what was going on.  You would think Wintters might have been warned about me by now; God, messing with these punks is fun.  I have carefully watched Wylie politics for the last several years and feel fairly confident in what exactly went down tonight. Watch and learn: 

Mayor set the process in motion making the statement that Mayor Pro Tem should be someone that can speak well and clearly in public. Well that knocks Pee Wee Herman twin Rick White out of the picture, nor did he want it I'm sure. White doesn’t show up for anything except sitting at the council dais twice a month.  Frankly, had he wanted it he would have arrived in a sport coat and his wife would have been there for pics.

Mayor couldn’t possibly buzz in first with a recommendation, he is after all only a presider and voter and not part of council, however his 'speak well and clearly' statement made it obvious he had no intention of supporting White for the endeavor because of White’s stutter.  At that point we expected someone rational to pipe up but there sat Culver and Jones in complete silence hoping one or the other would get over themselves and buzz in.  It was clear each wanted it more for themself and in doing so they left the buzzer wide open. Did they really believe Scott or White would select one of them? To be sure, a disappointing tactical maneuver because they will never know if the two newbies played a game tonight or if they are actually that stupid.

Meanwhile the newbies sat in silence, quite frankly it is as it should be, as Pee Wee fuddled around with his buzzer for a moment.  Suddenly White was up and he nominated Councilman Nathan Scott, as the newbies panted in unison with eager anticipation.  You could almost hear the drool well up like Pavlovian’s dogs.  Their Chamber of Commerce playmate Councilman Nathan Scott received the majority vote with Councilwoman Diane Culver, Councilman Bennie Jones, and Mayor Eric Hogue as the only dissenting votes.

Even setting aside Nathan Scott’s past arrest for beating his wife up, anyone who has watched council meetings online can see he makes all manner of flubs and is barely feeling his way through being a Councilman.  I actually have come to like Scott despite himself.  For his part he is a thoughtful voter, however anyone with synapse activity a hair above comatose would not normally vote to place someone so green in that post, that is not anyone without a secret agenda. With that first vote I guess we can come to expect some really stellar decisions from greenlings Councilman Todd Wintters and Councilman Keith Stephens. Joy.
It is about this time that I believe Mayor Eric Hogue rose from his seat about 5 inches as his butt cheeks were violently scrunched at the travesty that just too place.  Rick White so hates Diane Culver and Bennie Jones that he would have selected Bullwinkle had he been available. In that moment Mayor Eric Hogue’s power was usurped by the newbies.  The man and his power bubble were irreversibly popped in one power play.  Evidently the newbies are in town and they are a reckless and feckless force.

The newbies are all Chamber of Commerce playmates and can be found hobbing each other’s knobs at the card exchanges and other Chamber hacktivities. The Chamber of Commerce, hardly a beacon of fiscally conservative policy, has now grasped Mayor’s nuggies in one simple vote.  I wonder will Mayor be able to resist their power as they begin obliterating conservative values and sound fiscal policy. 

Bringing popcorn next time.